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But is this a trend that could change the very nature of romance and turn long-term commitment into a thing of the past? There is striking evidence to suggest that the web is causing social change.Traditionally, women might have had one or two boyfriends before getting married; now, they are encouraged to date lots of people in a quest to find a perfect partner.Over the past decade, she’s tried ten websites, had dates with 40 men and chatted — online or over the phone — to countless other potential suitors.But after one serious heartbreak and hundreds of pounds spent on subscription fees, love still eludes her.‘In many ways, internet dating is a great way to meet people, but it’s such a whirlwind of highs and lows,’ she says.‘I’ve met some lovely men, but I’ve also met many who lied about themselves and their intentions.’Her experiences are mirrored by many women, who find that internet dating is great if you want a casual fling, but not for anything longer lasting because there are so many dishonest men seeking cheap thrills.
The first time I got on Tinder, it was pretty soon after a fairly traumatic heartbreak.
He messaged me and we talked through the Match app for a few days. We had a lot in common — things we liked to do, places we liked to visit, similar political views, similar world views — like an actual match. Conversation was easy, and there was a lot of laughing. One morning, without explanation, he stopped talking to me. That lasted for a couple of days, and then I got a “Dear Jane” text. You know: “It’s not you, it’s me, blah blah blah.” Well, I guess I should be happy I got a text. We talked for a couple of weeks — there were long pauses in his response time — and he asked if we could meet. Even with the long response time, I was interested, so I said yes and gave him my cell. But that doesn’t seem to be the same for the guys I’ve met on the site. At I get a text that says “I’m running late, be there soon.” Eye roll. We got together for lunch a few days later, and it became clear we didn’t have much in common. After this second-date lunch, he texts me and says it’s time we get to know each other in “a more intimate way.” He talks about wine, a fur rug and “tasting” me. He had the tall, dark and handsome covered and was an education lawyer to boot.
For the next week, we texted and talked on the phone. If I meet someone in person, and I’m not interested, I tell them. And, really, if you’ve only met someone once, what’s the big deal? The world of online dating has left me perplexed and a little leery. I was only marginally interested, but I didn’t have anything else going on, so I agreed to go out with him. Seconds later, I get another text from him that says, “I’m sorry, I’m really high right now.” Third text: “please don’t leave.” Which I absolutely would have, except I had already ordered that beer. I’m not the least bit friendly, and I go out of my way to be rude. Eventually he says, “I’m only going to have children with a blonde-haired blue-eyed woman.” (That’s my complexion.) I just laughed. “Because it’s sexy stuff.” I’m cool with that, but, looking back, what followed should not have been a surprise. As a single mom, I thought this father of two seemed all too perfect, and our conversations over the phone would wind on for hours at a time.
Aside from the heckling neighbors who had gathered outside to have a late-night laugh at the oblivious lawyer’s expense, his 6-year-old son sheepishly hid behind the man, as yet another witness to this public display of buffoonery.
At least the youngster had the common sense to put clothes on before traipsing outdoors.
After 15 minutes and nearly having had to pry him out of my vehicle, the lawyer finally made his exit, much to my relief.